Saturday, 2 June 2012

I made chocolate crackles yesterday.

Yeah, I know, it's not that exciting for most people. But I've only ever made chocolate crackles twice before:

My NM is an, um, "interesting" cook. Many of her dishes are completely inedible and, as you know, you do NOT tell an N that you do not like something they have cooked. It's better to eat it, and be quietly sick later, than guarantee offending them by refusing to eat whatever they have made. Even if it is, say, strawberries marinated in pepper... or a raw lemon... or uncooked meat. Or any other disaster you can think of. NM's chocolate crackles were no exception. There was no way to avoid eating them, but ugh... somehow, there was always too much copha, too much cocoa and uneven mixing, resulting in a bitter slimy-textured lump of rice bubbles, with occasional teaspoons of straight cocoa. *shudders. But, because you don't tell an N anything that could be construed as criticism, she assumed that we ate them because we liked them.

My NM was a teacher back in the day. And on this particular day, she decided that her class of students should have food as a welcome to the new year with her as their new teacher, and that some chocolate crackles would do that nicely. I was 13 or so then. She then decided that I would make the chocolate crackles for HER class of students, and they were all for her students. (I hated her chocolate crackles, so being forbidden to eat any was fine by me, which she didn't realise). However, I did something stupid while making the crackles. I adjusted the recipe. I reduced the copha a bit, and used all the cocoa in the house, which was less than the recipe called for.

Man... the freak out... you would have thought that I had put arsenic or ratsak in them. NM screamed at me for the better part of an hour about my pathetic cooking skills, my inability to follow basic recipes and instructions, the lack of cocoa in the crackles ("WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IF SOMEONE TOLD YOU THESE WERE CHOCOLATE CRACKLES? YOU'D SAY THERE WAS NO CHOCOLATE, YOU IMBECILE. I CAN'T TRUST YOU WITH THE SIMPLEST OF TASKS..." etc etc). When I finally got the opportunity to get a word in, I made my second mistake. I mentioned that I had used all the cocoa, we hadn't had enough in the cupboard. Which was when I got sent to walk the 3km round trip to the supermarket (in an Australian January) to buy more *with my pocket money* because *I* had *wasted* her cocoa on failed chocolate crackles.


My daughters 5th birthday is coming up, and her school encourages the kids to bring in some "individual serving" food so they can all celebrate together. I see the other parents walk in with these lovely trays of decorated cupcakes, or fancy biscuits, and I immediately think of the one child who has food intolerances and can't join in. And the only food I could think of without dairy or egg is chocolate crackles.

Yesterday, I made chocolate crackles.


  1. I despised chocolate crackles from the day I tasted one and discovered they weren't made with real chocolate. Devastation is an understatement.

  2. Hope you enjoy all the chocolate crackles you want this holiday season!

    (I don't blog much, either, but I do think of you and hope you're doing well.)

  3. What is it about NM's that they end up being teachers? Or maybe nurses? holy cow.